Bonds of Youth

I suppose we all think our times were the best of times.  Each generation speaks of the good old days.  But I think what we are saying is that we feel a bond and a connection to the days of our youth or to those days when things seemed to be right with the world.  As the years fly past and change inevitably robs us of the constant security we once thought we had, we think about those days when things seemed simpler; when our attitudes and preferences seemed to be shared by most of the people we knew. 

For in our youth we often assumed that others felt, thought, and believed as we did.  But time and experience eventually proves us wrong.  For some who are individualists, change is more of an adventure than a concern.

Yet for most there becomes a great need to find like minded people who will reinforce their values and reassure them that they are right to be suspicious of the new and the different.  These folks tend to line up behind a figure or institution of authority hoping to siphon strength or find a shield therein.

But time waits for no man and we find ourselves rushing ever swiftly down the years.  Some like to think that they plan their lives and are in control.  I laugh at the thought.  For no matter how carefully one plans or attempts to control, time is the ultimate control.  Time will get you every time.

Beyond the constraints of time there is the imagination, the dream, and the memory.  Although time is the ultimate control, within our imaginations reside memories and dreams.  For some people these are considered “time” wasters to be avoided for the sake of chasing the rabbit; that thing just beyond their reach.

But what of the past?  Were those days of our youth and the relationships formed then merely a waste of time?  What today can we benefit or enjoy from the good old days?  It may be that bonds formed in tender years offer a lesson in our ways forward.  The innocence with which friendships and memories were made may serve as a model for establishing new bonds or to soften the harsher realities of aging and coming to terms with our mortality.

Connecting with or confronting the past comes with risk.  Most likely outcomes from visiting with or re-establishing relationships with folks from our youth is disappointment or surprise.  The common elements which we once thought formed a bond are likely absent and often rejected outright. 

However, like any endeavor of value, there is a gem there waiting and well worth the time required to find it.  So be a prospector.  Gold is there for the taking.

James Middleton

January 14, 2014